Joy Will Find A Way

Worth coming out of hibernation for ...

2008-11-28T22:00:00.001-08:00

Hiatus

2008-09-26T16:46:00.000-07:00

My laptop died last weekend ... so I'll only be posting once in awhile, here and there... send good vibes my way. Maybe the ol' powerbook will power up again?

Fall Equinox Friday Five

2008-09-19T14:26:00.000-07:00

Songbird says: It's that time of year, at least north of the equator. The windows are still open, but the darned furnace comes on early in the morning. My husband went out for a walk after an early supper and came home in full darkness.

And yes, where we live, leaves are beginning to turn.

As this vivid season begins, tell us five favorite things about fall:

1) A fragrance Wood smoke coming from my neighbor's chimneys as I walk in the evening.

2) A color The red sumac leaves

3) An item of clothing sweaters!

4) An activity celebrating Halloween with the kids

5) A special day Eric's birthday

I do love Fall. I just wish there were more time to enjoy it ... Church is so busy right now. The days are shorter. The kids are exhausted from school. And the overall tenor in the air is so ... tense. McPain raining crappy lies on our hopes, the market crisis, everyone coming down with colds ...

And yet! Today it is 80 degrees. We're going over to a friend's house for a bonfire tonight. Micah is kicking butt in in Cross Country (I'm a proud Momma!) and even with the overwhelm-ment of Fall programming at church, I love my work and the people I get to work with.

Life is good. God is good.

A Forgiveness Quilt

2008-09-13T16:55:00.000-07:00

As I've been thinking about the lectionary texts for this week, centered on the theme of forgiveness, I've had the beautiful Forgiveness Waltz by Jonathan Rundman dancing in my head:
It's like a dance
It's like a wheel
Less like math
Less like a deal
More like a heartbreak, beginning to heal
We can start over, we know forgiveness

This is a first ... I've never posted a sermon manuscript on my blog, but since I've joined the Rev Gals, I thought I'd share. Comments are welcome! I preached this already once this afternoon, and will again at the early service tomorrow.
See the note below about the well timed burst of sunlight that came towards the end of the sermon!

A Forgiveness Quilt

Genesis 50:15-21, Matthew 18:21-35

Back in Lent, in the depths of winter (remember that?), we spent a few weeks thinking and praying and learning about forgiveness.
Today, our Bible readings cast us back to that topic ... to that amazing thing that is at the core of our faith: forgiveness.
It is a thread that weaves all the way through the Bible. Here we have one of the earliest families in the Bible, ripping each other apart, having grudges, playing favorites, and desperately needing forgiveness.
As our church, along with the national Evangelical Lutheran Church takes on the challenge of getting to know the "Book of Faith" this year, our scriptures, through Bible study groups, personal study, and testimonies here in worship, we will find that the theme of forgiveness emerges again and again throughout our whole "Book of Faith" and it is in fact at the very center of our relationship with God. The whole reason God became flesh and came to live among us was to personify the love and forgiveness that is at the heart of God's relationship with us.
And isn't it interesting that this topic of forgiveness should show up again for us, right here at this time in our country's life, when we this week have been reflecting on the terrible events of 9/11 seven years ago?
What I would like to do today is patch together some thoughts about forgiveness from these four different areas: from the story of Joseph in Genesis, from Jesus' words about forgiveness in the Gospel, and from our story as a community which is in need of forgiveness, and which is called to forgive, and finally for each of us to reflect on our own need to forgive and be forgiven.

1. Forgiveness is about seeing the big picture:
In the reading you heard from Genesis earlier, we come into the very end of a long family saga. Remember the story of Joseph, the dreamer in the Old testament? He was the favorite of the 12 sons of his father Jacob. And his brothers hated him for it – so much so that they decided to kill him … but before they actually murdered the guy, they realized they could make some money if they sold him … so that’s what they did. Joseph was betrayed by his very own brothers and sold to be a slave. (This whole long story begins in chapter 37 of Genesis, and if you are interested in family sagas, this is a good one to sink your teeth into.) Well, if you’ve read the story or seen the musical …. You know that in spite of the brothers’ horrible acts toward Joseph, he manages to come out of all this just fine. In fact, he eventually ascends to power as the Pharaoh’s right hand man. Not bad for a shepherd boy from the country side.
And when Joseph’s brothers show up all these years later, in search of food in the midst of a famine, they realize that the brother they tried to get rid of years ago, now holds their fate in his hands. The brothers have not forgotten about their evil deeds. They know that Joseph now has the power to put them into prison or have them killed, or whatever he wants. And they are very afraid.
Joseph’s response is nothing short of incredible. Somehow he is able to let go of any righteous indignation he might have had over the way his brothers treated him so many years before. In fact, he feels their pain. He weeps with them. He does not focus on his own hurt; he steps back enough from the situation to see that his brothers are hurting, too. And then he takes another giant step backward from the situation, where he can see the really big picture. Joseph recognizes that he is not God. Even though he technically has the power to dish out whatever punishment he would like, he knows that it is God’s job to do the judging, not his. And with that knowledge, with that recognition that he is only a small part in God’s huge, gracious plan for the world, Joseph does the only thing he can do. Forgive his brothers.
Forgiveness sees the big picture. When we step back, and consider God’s work in our relationships and in our world, and when we trust that God is working for the ultimate good of everyone, we can forgive, and allow God to do the judging.
That’s the first piece of our quilt. Forgiveness sees the big picture.
The second piece of the quilt is this: True forgiveness does not keep score. In the Gospel lesson from Matthew, Peter comes to Jesus with a very interesting question: How many times must I forgive someone who has done me wrong? Haven’t we all asked that question at some point in our lives? Whether it is an annoying sibling or a spouse that you’ve dealt with for years on end, or a co-worker who just doesn’t get it, or a friend who perhaps takes advantage of your friendship … we all know what it means to have to repeatedly deal with the shortcomings of others. Our society tells us we don’t have to put up with it. Cut the toxic people out of your life! If your spouse bugs you, get a divorce! And I would not argue with that on some occasions, especially if there is any kind of abuse going on. However, in many cases, I believe we are called to do exactly what Jesus tells us to do today in this Gospel lesson: put away the score board. Stop keeping track of all the ways that someone has wronged you. When Jesus says forgive them Seventy-seven times, he is using a number of perfection. He is saying that forgiveness is unquantifiable. It lets go completely.
The advice to quit keeping score is sound. When we hang onto the wrongs and the wounds we have sustained over the course of a life time, they begin to define us. Jesus wants nothing less for us than for the goodness and love of God to define us, not the hurts that we’ve received. My father-in-law once said, when you refuse to forgive you are only poisoning your own well. It probably wasn’t original to Pastor Don Sponheim, but I always think of him when I think about this topic of forgiveness. Keep your well free of poison. Put down the scoreboard and forgive.
Now for the 3rd piece of our quilt: Hold our emotions up to the light of God. This thought is an extension of the 2nd piece. When we quit keeping score, it means we let go of the sour emotions we feel, and we hold them up to the light of God.
I read an interesting article this week, reflecting on the terrible events of 9/11 seven years ago. Brian McLaren, a pastor and author wrote: "In many ways we have run from the feelings of that day ... grief, grievance, unity, confusion, dislocation, vulnerability and solidarity. In many ways, we quickly transmuted those emotions into ones that we are more familiar with, ones we know how to "work with" -- anger, lust for revenge, blame, scape-goating, offended pride, even hate.” (read the article here)
Many times in our lives, legitimate emotions such as grief, hurt and confusion can quickly turn into anger and the desire to retaliate. McLaren's advice, to hold those emotions up to the light of God’s love, is so helpful. It’s sort of a different take on the idea of counting to 10 when you feel angry with someone. In addition to the calming effect that taking a little timeout can do, the action of holding our hurts up to the light of God offers a whole new way of realizing that God can actually do something good with the awful things that have hurt you. God does not want us to cling to our wounds. God does not want us to put all of our energy into exacting vengeance on those who have hurt us.
God simply wants us. God wants our hearts and our faith and our love.
It sounds crazy, doesn’t it? It sounds impossible, doesn’t it? That we could let go of our grievances and let God dole out the consequences? Believe me, I know! They say, the Pastor preaches the sermons she most needs to hear. Along with the rest of the human race, I am very good a holding grudges and keeping score. God’s reality is radically different. God asks us to trust. God says, “I know you are hurt. I have felt the hurts, too. I have taken them into my very own body, and died because of all the hurts in the world.” God says, “I know.” Hold those hurts up to me, Let my light shine upon them, redeem them and turn them into something new, because that is what I am all about. Making all things new. Do you believe it?
And now, finally the last piece of the quilt. It is a simple, but profound piece. It is the center of our faith, and our relationship with God. And here it is: You are forgiven. You are free. We need so much to hear those words, don’t we? We say them practically every week in worship at some point. But sometimes, it seems like we don’t really hear them.
A few years ago at my previous congregation, during the seasons of Advent and Lent one year, we decided to have a one-on-one statement of forgiveness for everyone who came up for communion. It was really quite simple, but the fact that it was one on one, and that there was touch involved made all the difference in the world. We pastors placed our hands on the head or shoulders of each person and simply stated, “In the name and by the command of our Lord Jesus Christ, your sins are forgiven” Something happened in that transaction. Many people wept openly. Many folks later said, I felt like a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders.
The people had really heard the message of forgiveness. Today I invite you to wrap yourself up in this knowledge of the very fact that you are a forgiven, beloved child of God. Wear that clean garment into the world, and let God's love and forgiveness flow into your life, through you and out to those who need God's love the most.
That’s our quilt.
Forgiveness sees the big picture
Forgiveness doesn’t keep score
Hold your hurts up to the light of God
And finally, hear and KNOW that you are forgiven.
(As I was delivering this sermon on Saturday afternoon, a bright sunbeam streamed through the windows at exactly this moment!)
Now, wrap yourself in that quilt. Settle into the comfort of God’s love and grace, and pray with me.
Gracious and loving God of all forgiveness, we thank you. We praise you because we are in awe that you can look on our hearts, look past our wrongs, and love us for who we are. Thank you for the healing balm of your forgiveness in our lives. Help us, Lord. Help us to step back, and to see what you see. Help us to let go of our hurts, rather than letting them define us. Instead we ask that you would define us by you power and love and grace. Give us strength and courage to forgive as you have forgiven, so that we may live lives that bring glory to you. In your precious son Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

Friday Five: Vulnerability

2008-09-05T16:31:00.000-07:00

Sally over at Rev Gals offers this: I hope that folk will take this in the spirit with which it is offered; that of continuing prayer and concern tempered by the knowledge that we are called both to weep and to rejoice with our communities.

I have recently been reading a book entitled Jesus wept, it is all about vulnerability in leadership. The authors speak of how Jesus shared his earthly frustrations and vulnerabilities with a select group of people. To some he was the charismatic leader and teacher, to others words of wisdom were opened and explained and some frustrations shared, to his "inner circle of friends: Peter, James and John, he was most fully himself, and in all of these things he was open to God.

So I bring you this weeks Friday 5:

1. Is vulnerability something that comes easily to you, or are you a private person?
For better or worse, as I've grown older, I've become less vulnerable. I still seek to live and relate to all with authenticity and transparency, but I'm more careful as I age. I think it is a life-long process to learn, especially when one is in such a public position, how much to share, and how much to protect.

2.How important is it to keep up a professional persona in work/ ministry?
I'm still trying to figure this one out.

3. Masks, a form of self protection discuss...
Masks make me think of phony-ness - something I've been unable to tolerate for as long as I can remember. However, I've been known to put on a grin and bear it in certain situations. I suppose that is a mask.

4. Who knows you warts and all?
My spouse and children, my brother, a few dear dear friends.

5. Share a book, a prayer, a piece of music, a poem or a person that touches the deep place in your soul, and calls you to be who you are most authentically.
Someone else posted a lovely video of the hymn "I will come to you in the silence" I would echo that one.
And today as I was hiking, the song Fragile by Nanci Griffith shuffled into my playlist ... Fragile as the Lady in the Harbor ... Fragile as the torch that glows ... fragile as the gulf stream water to the Texas coast ... sail you home.
For some reason that touched my soul in the wake of all the hard rhetoric we've heard this week ... Nanci's sweet voice nearly always connects to a deep place inside of me.

She Rips the Roof Off ...

2008-09-03T22:44:00.000-07:00

OK, my blog is getting more political than I ever imagined it would ... but I just can't help it!

Emmanuel Dunnand, photojournalist with the AFP captured the above image, and ran this priceless live blog from the floor of the RNC:

11.10 pm. Reality television has become our politics.
11.06 pm. Both Huckabee and Palin have used the t-word. Of course, they are not criminally liable, as Bush is.
11.05 pm. Every time the camera pans to McCain's mother, she seems mortified. I don't really blame her. Can you imagine what she was thinking as a tiny special needs baby is passed from person to person for the cable news.
11.03 pm. However admirable it is to be a mayor, is it really necessary to drip contempt for people who work as community organizers? It seems to me that Palin doesn't quite have the stature to be putting down someone who has won millions of people's votes. This is a much more partisan speech than I was expecting.
11.00 pm Styrofoam pillars; and self-designed seals. And her lip curls.
10.58 pm. Now it's about big government - which Republicans have exploded in size. But no one can notice the actual record of the GOP in growing government and increasing debt. That would be too much accountability.
10.56 pm. Obama wants to reduce American power and prevent energy production. The mockery of Obama from Palin is striking. I don't recall anyone mocking McCain at the DNC.
10.53 pm. Drill, baby, drill! I may be just revealing that I'm out of touch, but I don't see why laying pipelines is now a core rallying cry of American conservatism.
10.50 pm. I have to say that the affect is of someone running for high school president.
10.49 pm. Piper is poking Trig in the eye!
10.48 pm. Ethics reform is her first policy proposal.
10.47 pm. She has this weird tick of scrunching up her face to make a forceful point. Kinda Tracy Flicky.
10.44 pm. Palin echoes Giuliani's attack on "cosmopolitan" elites. All the buzzwords are there. Elite. Elite. Elite. This is a culture war speech - and she is becoming a symbol of red America. This is what they have to do top win: divide and polarize again. We are half way through, by the way, and we have not heard a single policy proposal. But we have heard contempt for someone who works as a community organizer in the South Side of Chicago.
10.40 pm. We've just seen a picture of a seven year old cradling and stroking the hair of a Down Syndrome infant. This, apparently, is relevant to deciding who should be the next vice-president of the United States.
10.39 pm. I'm just slack-jawed that, so far, the entire speech has been basically about her family. She seems as if she just won a reality show and is introducing her folks. And they have passed the baby now to four different people - including another child. Slack-jawed.
(Photo by Emmanuel Dunand/AFP/Getty.)

First Day

2008-09-02T21:07:00.000-07:00

Well ...
First, I fell down.
Then I forgot the bus number.
And I was confused about the schedule.
And I couldn't find my pencil.

No, I am not speaking in the voice of my five year old, or my eight year old. They did very well, thank you very much. And even though I have a slight sprain in my left hand and a big honkin' bruise on my knee cap, at the end of the day, it was a very good day for the boys.

A few pics from the morning ...

Do we really have to do this?

Maybe we'll warm up to the idea ...

Ba ha ha ha ha! Can't hold the excitement in any longer!

The scene at 9:05 ...

Ready to board at 9:08

It's almost exactly a year since we found this house, in this neighborhood. Slowly, but surely, the roots are going down. Community is a wonder to behold. I want to be vitally attached, enriched, enriching.

Thanks for stopping by!

2008-09-01T20:31:00.000-07:00

If I'da known you were coming I would have made some coffee! Welcome to the Rev Gals who are stopping over to check out my place. I was busy over the holiday weekend, so didn't realize I'd be making my debut on Labor Day. Thanks for welcoming me into the virtual community. I think I'm going to like it here.

Another Wordle

2008-08-30T21:46:00.001-07:00

Obama's acceptance of the Democratic Party Nomination
(Click on it if you want to see it bigger)

Friday Five: Thoughts on Labor Day

2008-08-29T10:00:00.000-07:00

From Singing Owl over at RevGalBlogPals ...

Here in the USA we are celebrating the last fling of the good ol' summertime. It is Labor Day weekend, and families are camping, playing in the park, swimming, grilling hotdogs in the backyard, visiting amusement parks and zoos and historical sites and outdoor concerts and whatever else they can find to help them extend summer's sun and play just a little bit longer.

It is supposed to also be a celebration of the working man and woman, the backbone of the American economy, the "salt-of-the-earth neices and nephews of Uncle Sam. With apologies to those in other countries, this is a Friday Five about LABOR. All can play. Put down that hammer, that spoon, that rolling pin, that rake, that pen, that commentary, that lexicon, and let's have some fun.

1. Tell us about the worst job you ever had.
I've had many bad jobs ... Fast Food, Temping Nightmares, Wack-o bosses ... but hands down, the worst was the summer before I went away to college. I joined the summer corps of college students that filled in at the Chevrolet Engine factory in my home town of Flint, Michigan. We did all the work that no-one else wanted to do over the summer. Filling in on hot days, when the temp of the Assembly line was well over 100 degrees, getting felt up by greasy old guys ... resisting the urge to "speed out" the shifts with my drug-savvy cohorts.

2. Tell us about the best job you ever had.
Being a Mom and a Pastor, in that order. It's what I'm doing right now, and absolutely where God has called me to be.

3. Tell us what you would do if you could do absolutely anything (employment related) with no financial or other restrictions.
I would love to live and work at a retreat center, offering folks the opportunity to come away and rest.

4. Did you get a break from labor this summer? If so, what was it and if not, what are you gonna do about it?
The fam took a wonderful trip to the Black Hills in June. Later in July, I took a 'stay-cation,' spending a week at home, hosting my Mom for her 75th birthday, and enjoying some quality time with my boys and my brother.

5. What will change regarding your work as summer morphs into fall? Are you anticipating or dreading?
The juggling act will become more intense as we get used to the new school schedule, and figure out exactly what our childcare needs are, along with more evening commitments for myself at church. Yeah, I'm dreading it a bit.

Bonus question: For the gals who are mothers, do you have an interesting story about labor and delivery (LOL)? If you are a guy pal, not a mom, or you choose not to answer the above, is there a song, a book, a play, that says "workplace" to you?
My interesting story about labor is that even though I've had two children, I've never experienced labor. My first was a week late, and HUGE, and positioned in a dangerous way, so I had an emergency c-section. Our second was delivered the same way because I was 'too old' to have a V-back. Weird thing is, I went through my whole first pregnancy with midwives, not wanting to think of birth as an emergency medical event, but a natural process. Somebody up there has an odd sense of humor.

Stay Up Late

2008-08-28T20:57:00.000-07:00

We let the boys stay up and watch Obama's speech tonight.
True to form, Micah was very attentive and thoughtful; Luke was attentive, too, but had many comments and questions to interject. It was so cool, as a family, to watch what feels like history being made. When we let the boys know that tonight's speech would take the place of their bedtime story, it was Luke who observed, "This is an important story!." They are still so wide eyed, and take it all in.

I do hope that there will be major change for the lives of our children as Barack has promised. I do hope that we are at a defining moment in America's history. A moment when we embrace the reality that, as Dr King said, "we are all tied together in the single garment of destiny, caught in an inescapable network of mutuality. And whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly. For some strange reason I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. And you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the way God’s universe is made; this is the way it is structured." *

Amen! May it be so.

* From "Remaining Awake Through a Great Revolution," delivered by Martin Luther King at the National Cathedral, Washington, D.C., on 31 March 1968.

Clinging to Hope

2008-08-25T21:44:00.001-07:00

Romans 8:37-39
created at wordle.com

Say a Prayer

2008-08-25T20:46:00.001-07:00

Today my job took me to a very dark and difficult place ... to the bedside of a woman who is dying of leukemia. She is a mom who is my age, and who, like me has two young sons. She can no longer speak, but her eyes and lips beseeched me to call her husband to come and be with her. I prayed for her, invoking the Romans passage "neither life nor death nor .... height nor depth can keep us from the love of God." claiming the strong promise of God's love and presence even in this present darkness. But tears covered my face. There was no bravado. There wasn't a glimmer, really of God's presence in that ICU room. After I blessed her and promised to call her husband she was ready to sleep again. On my way out, I stopped in the chapel and wept. There's no making sense of this painful, tragic death.

Please pray for LuAnn. Pray for her husband and two children. Oh Jesus, your kingdom come.

Friday Five

2008-08-22T19:25:00.001-07:00

So I joined the RevGalBlogPals ... there are so many awesome/insightful writers over there. I could read those blogs all day. One of the fun things they do there is the Friday Five. Today's random assignment is all about dates. So here goes, for my first Friday Five.

1) Datebooks--how do you keep track of your appointments? Electronically? On paper? Month at a glance? Week at a glance?
I try to keep track of everything in Outlook, but it hasn't been synchronizing with my Blackberry. So now I have a really fancy phone, and a cobbled-together three-ring binder holding scribbled-on, printed out Outlook week-at a glance pages.

2) When was the last time you forgot an important date?
A few months ago I forgot a meeting with one of my favorite, hardest working volunteers. It was a wake-up call to get more organized.

3) When was the last time you went OUT on a date?
E and I went out for dinner a few weeks ago. Time to schedule some spouse time!

4) Name one accessory or item of clothing you love even though it is dated.
My pointy-toed, kitten-heeled mules. They went out of style almost immediately after I finally decided I liked them and was brave enough to wear them. I still feel trendy when I have them on. So there, style-setters.

5) Dates--the fruit--can't live with 'em? Or can't live without 'em?
Dates always remind me of Christmas, and I do kind of feel like it's not quite Christmas if you don't have some dates to nosh with the appetizer plate, or date filled cookies. Yum.

Revisiting Romans

2008-08-22T10:55:00.000-07:00

Over the Summer, we've been having a sermon series on the book of Romans at SOTV ... what an amazing challenge it has been to take this book of deep theological insight, complex argument, and moments of brilliance and come up with sermons that both: a) do it justice, and b) seem relevant to 21st century church comers. A couple of my sermons have been posted here (For reasons I don't understand, they are not available as mp3 files that I can post over to the right)

The reason I feel it's necessary to blog about this though, has much more to do with sharing the brilliance of N.T. Wright than it does with me getting you to listen to my half-baked sermons! I'm probably way behind the curve on reading N.T. Wright - he is such a prolific and wonderful scholar/author! But I am now officially on the bandwagon. Here's a quote that literally made tears spring to my eyes as I was reading his commentary on Romans in the New Interpreter's Bible:
"The God whom Paul has glimpsed in the gospel, whose justice and mercy he has been expounding in this his greatest letter, is vast and mysterious as the sea, near and intimate as breath, decisive and compassionate as a Galilean holy man on his way to a cruel death. The Wisdom tradition, the prophetic tradition, the Pentateuch, the psalms, all are now poured out in justice and mercy, through the gospel of Jesus the Messiah and the power of the Spirit."

Then... talking to my friend Deb Stehlen this past week, she recommended Wright's latest, Surprised by Hope, so that is now on the top of the to-read list. I'm so thankful for this cool drink of water for my theologically thirsty soul.

Blogger Name That Tune!

2008-08-21T22:47:00.000-07:00

I love this! A friend of a friend came up with this and posted his on Facebook - but I thought I'd try it here, too ... try it out, write your guesses in a comment to me, then go post your own list!

This is my entire iTunes library on song random. My catalog's pretty weird, so who knows how this will shape up. Still, it's worth a shot. Winner (most correct) gets a pat on the back. No cheating!

Step 1: Put your music player on random.
Step 2: Post the first line (or 2) from the first 30 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Post the Song Title and Artist when someone guesses correctly.

1. Hey, Man! Don't look so scared, you know I'm only testing you out
2. Pretty soon you'll be able to remember her, lying in the garden singing
3. My friend the Communist holds meetings in his RV
4. From father to son the blood runs thin Red Hill Mining Town U2 (Justin Rimbo)
5. Shut it down and call this road a day
6. I lie awake so often at night, With something to read or something to write
7. I think I found the recipe for creativity
8. Where you are, is where I wanna be, and through your eyes, all the things I wanna see
9. Last night the moon was full, and last night it all stood still
10. I have a feeling, it's a feeling I'm concealing, I don't know why (hint: this is the singer's little introductory riff before launching into an old standard)
11. Man it's a hot one, like seven inches from the midday sun Smooth Santana featuring Rob Thomas (Justin Rimbo)
12. Hold me down to anything, anything that you see; I should walk away right now
13. Home is where I wanna be, pick me up and turn me around (bonus points if you can name the original artist, and guess which artist is covering this on my iPod!)
14. Not everyone in New York would pay to see Andrew Lloyd Webber
15. Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock Jingle bells swing and ... (Yup, pretty much every time I put my iPod on random, I get Christmas music! Yippee! Take a stab at what artist this might be ... )
16. Seven days was all she wrote, a kind of ultimatum note
17. Light it up, baby, light up that fire. I don't know what's gonna save me from the cold night.
18. Here we go again, another round of blues
19. In the middle of the night I'm growing secrets
20. I just can't leave it alone, I've got to sing a song of my redemption
21. What we are and what we were once are not far estranged
22. Heaven, I'm in heaven, and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak Cheek to Cheek Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong (Big Jon Wood)
23. We don't eat in no white restaurants, we eat in the car
24. Occurred to me the other day, you've been gone now a couple years Goodbye Patty Griffin (Big Jon Wood)
25. As I walk away, I look over my shoulder to see what I'm leaving behind
26. Here we are again, sublime synchronicity, finally got you back to me
27. You will lose your baby teeth; at times you'll lose your faith in me
28. Hosanna! Come and deliver, come and deliver your people from death
29. I've been feeling kind of restless, I've been feeling out of place
30. You've got the cool water when the fever runs high Something So Right Paul Simon (Justin Rimbo) aaand Jabonzie-Ass gets the bonus! Annie Lennox

p.s. even though I have 1000s of songs on my iPod, this random list of 30 generated duplicate artists 5 times! (One got three songs!)

Six Seven Eight

2008-08-18T20:25:00.000-07:00

A dear friend created the most wonderful gift for me recently. I can't get into specifics ... it's way too complicated and personal to post in the blog-o-sphere ... but, it entailed me telling her about an incident in my childhood, and then, her tracking down pictures of me as a little girl to include in said gift ... got that? Seeing these pictures of myself as a child right around the ages of my own two boys made me all misty, and makes me love them all the more, and, also somehow encourages me to be a little kinder to myself.

Me at 6; A first grader in Phoenix, AZ.

At 7, enjoying something finger-lickin' good.

8 years old, sitting in front of Grandma & Grandpa Wood's 'Maiden's Blush' Rose. I have a slip from this plant growing in my yard now.

p.s. ... A few days later ... I realized that I the middle picture was also taken when I was eight ... but I don't want to change my snappy "six-seven-eight" title!

Growing Things

2008-08-07T20:10:00.000-07:00

It's been so fun having a whole new yard this summer! The previous owners of our house did a wonderful job of landscaping with perennials, especially in the beds closest to the front of the house. My new favorite is the balloon flower ... delicate purple/blue blossoms and the buds actually do look like balloons:

There was a little chicken-wire fenced square in the back corner of the lot, with a lonely rhubarb plant and a few chives coming up this spring. So I mused about it a bit, and one day at Target (that reputable seller of seeds?!) I got swept away by the seed packet display and bought up a few veggies and plants to try in our little patch. I bought tomato, basil and pepper plants at an actual nursery. And here's where we stand as of early August ...

The rhubarb that just won't quit, and the lovely Black-eyed Susans that recently appeared

My prize crops: Corn, tomatoes, crowded cabbage and carrots

And we have the promise of pumpkins in the fall

In the nearby bed that was once a sandbox, there are some random flowers growing, none that appear to have been the seeds I planted. This one is most intriguing to me:

A few weeks ago, it looked like this.

And now, like this.

These intricate little pods are so beautiful. I don't have a clue what they are, but it seems enough to appreciate them and wonder.

Always, I dream about what I can grow next year. I was inspired by a recent visit to a lovely garden grown by a couple from church. The Hollyhocks (which have a special place in my heart for some reason) were spectacular this summer.

Maybe next year ...

Superstar

2008-08-02T20:35:00.000-07:00

Micah went to a "Cool Camp" at church this week:'Kids On Stage.' He and I worked together to make a little movie from their final performance. First is the dance they did to the song 'Superstar' by Go Fish, then a few pictures from their short play based on the Max Lucado book, 'You Are Mine.' The teachers did an awesome job with getting the children made-up to look like they have puppet faces. It was a great break from the late-summer sibling rivalry that is now cropping up around the house ... and I sincerely hope that the message of God's unconditional love struck my boy in a new way.

Happy!

2008-07-22T12:26:00.000-07:00

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There are so many reasons to love this clip --- not least of which is the 8 track straight out of my growin' up years. LOVE IT!!!

Heading for the Hills

2008-07-21T13:10:00.000-07:00

And now for the next episode in my blog-catch-up: Family Vacation in the Black Hills! It was a short week, but really quality time. On our way out, we stayed with Sponheim family friends, Jack & Mary Mortenson. Such warm and generous hosts! One of the things that stands out (one month later) from our conversation is the commitment they have to respecting and caring for elders. They’ve regularly hosted their elderly aunts and uncles for Sunday dinners for some years, and now that hospitality is extended to their neighbor George McGovern, (yes, I’m talking about the elder statesman) who spends most Sundays there, and sat in their family room to watch the SD Primary returns and Obama’s ensuing speech!

Mary made the most delicious meals for us, and sent apricot scones with us, which sustained us on the long drive through the Custer State Park wild life loop later in the week.

We stayed in Hill City at this one-man owned “Resort” called Quail Crossing. Nothing fancy, but it was perfect. We were looking for something non-chain, non-huge asphalt parking lot, sort of close to nature … and this worked. We had a little kitchenette, and a balcony with a grill that overlooked the creek and hills behind the motel. We ate almost all of our meals out there, including buffalo cheese burgers! There was an old horse, a bike trail, a campfire pit, 2 playgrounds, a pool and a teeter totter. What more could we want?

We did a couple of the requisite touristy things:

Wildlife at Custer State Park

Methuselah the 120 year old Tortoise at Reptile Gardens

The Amazing and Brave Team of Snake Handlers

And we observed Micah’s 8th anniversary of arriving in the world by

commemorating the city of M’s birth at the Des Moines River rest area

and finding Mica (the element) all over the Black Hills, including this road sign:

When we returned home, we had a proper celebration with friends at the Apple Valley Pool!

Wow. Micah is EIGHT. And for some reason this birthday feels like a more significant jump than some of the last few, that sort of gradually crept from one year to the next. I can't quite put my finger on why that is. He just suddenly seems older, and I realize how quickly these childhood years are zipping by. Sigh ... But more than regret or anything like it, I celebrate this wonderful, smart, sweet kid!

But I'm feeling like getting out the baby pictures.

Retreat

2008-07-20T19:41:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh ... the North Shore in June. The grandeur ... the spaces to sit and just be ... the trails and lake that call me to move and be a part of creation. It is simply gorgeous.

I got to travel to the North Shore for the annual SOTV Women's Retreat, which, lucky me, I get to lead. We had a few snafus preparing and actually implementing the thing, but in the end, it was an amazing experience. The theme this year was "Journey to Wholeness" and the plan was to use a prayer labyrinth as the core of our program. Here's where it gets interesting. I worked with the labyrinth maven of the Twin Cities, Barbara Kellet, to procure a large canvas labyrinth, as well as some of her books and some prayer shawls, and was all ready to facilitate my first labyrinth with the SOTV women ... but! The conference room that was available to us was nowhere near the 40 feet across I had been told it would be by the management. So I had only a few hours to find a space where we could hold our labyrinth session the following morning. Panicking a bit, I called the pastor of the Lutheran church across the highway from the Bluefin resort where we were staying ... Long story short ... the pastor and his wife had a labyrinth built on their property! On the shore of Lake Superior! Four miles from our resort! With accompanying meditation garden ... Um. I'm pretty sure this was a God thing.

Seagulls soared above and songbirds trilled. The waves rolling in, the fresh air off the lake and the warm sunshine ... the wood chips crunching under our feet ... toadstools and wildflowers decorating the path ... women walking and praying, turning and pausing, receiving what God handed to us that day ... it was a completely unexpected gift.

And there is more to this wonderful story ... the pastor that I mentioned earlier, his name is William Christ ... his wife is Beryl Singleton Bissell, the author of the lovely memoir, The Scent of God. I had been wanting to read her book, and had just missed a couple of opportunities to hear her speak. And here I was, walking on her labyrinth, and enjoying her beautiful meditation garden. Beryl was not there that day; she was at a writers' workshop. About 20 of us bought her book, though. I received a lovely note from her a few days later, along with a book plate with her signature for my copy, and an offer to come and speak to our group next time we are on the North Shore. I have been savoring The Scent of God in the weeks since, not wanting it to end. I highly recommend it.

Thank you to Lisa Gustafson for her beautiful photos!

June 12 ...

2008-07-20T16:50:00.000-07:00

was the last day of school and the beginning of a very busy patch!

Micah finished up 2nd grade with flying colors, Luke graduated from Preschool, and on we go. Our nanny for June and July is Christy, a wonderful young woman from our church, who recently graduated with a teaching degree, and is providing fun, structure, and care for the guys while Eric and I toil away at work.

The evening of June 12 was particularly lovely. Eric and I walked over to the Zoo, and caught the kick-off of the Music in the Zoo series, Aimee Mann! For some reason, both Eric and I have had the Magnolia soundtrack (of which Aimee wrote 75% or so of the music) in heavy rotation lately, so we were really excited to see her. Last time I saw Aimee was in the early 90's and like the dweeb that I am, I wore that old T-shirt!

The concert was just wonderful. First of all, a summer night ... just a little bit cool, with a breeze ... a huge Heron gliding about to add to the ambience .. and the band! So awesome! Most of the songs were keyboard and acoustic guitar-based, so no lead guitar, but I counted something like 13 keyboards on the stage! And the two keyboardists were amazing, but they cracked me up. One was a long haired, bell-bottomed hippie guy who created his very own little side show; the other was the workman-like computer-geek on the opposite end of the stage. The highlight of the night for me:" Wise Up" ... so ethereal and achingly regretful. I love me some melencholy, baby.

What I did on my Blogging vacation

2008-06-14T20:56:00.000-07:00

Well ... first, I was sick. The Oscar countdown became the Oscar letdown. It was quite pathetic. After all that chasing about, trying to catch all the nominees, what I really caught was a horrible virus. The kind that doesn't let go. Seriously, from January to April, it was a nasty cycle of get sick, get caught up at work, relapse, go back to work too soon because the sick time is gone, relapse, take care of sick kids. Aagh! Plus, I had a weird thing going on with my thyroid that threw my whole system out of whack. Then in May, allergies kicked in with a vengeance. OK, enough of that. Bo-ring.

In March our family did take a little Spring Break trip to Chi-town. We stayed right near the museum campus, and had a blast going to the Field and the Shedd --- along with a kajillion other families who had the same brilliant idea!

Here is the line to get into the Shedd Aquarium ... along with a lovely view of our Hotel and nearby Chicago skyline:

Much as I enjoyed the sights, the best part was hanging out with my bro! He came down for the last couple says of our stay, and it was so wonderful to just catch up. Life has been such a whirlwind for both of us.

Here's Jonny and the boys. They love their uncle!

And here's our little family at Milllenium Park:

We all loved the bean!

Time for some shut-eye with a few of my friends ...

Bless me, Blogspot,

2008-06-14T20:47:00.000-07:00

For I have been unfaithful ...

It's ... it's...oh, you know it already! Do I have to say it out loud? Fine! If you're going to just sit there and stare at me blankly ... It's FACEBOOK. (Sobs, pulls self together) It's just that FB has um, games! and pictures! and shiny things to distract me! And my 70-some friends send little updates all the time so I have to keep checking in. You understand don't you? No, really. I still need you. I need a quiet spot to pontificate and pretend to be profound and/or witty. FB doesn't have the depth you have, really. I know. I know. It's been nearly four months. But I'm begging. WIll you take me back? Can't we still be friends? Please?

Oscar Countdown

2008-02-18T21:14:00.000-08:00

The Oscars are on my birthday this year! I love that!

In usual fashion, I've been trying to catch the nominated flicks ... Here's the rundown so far:

Best Picture:
Atonement: powerful, epic, interesting take on the titular theme.
No Country For Old Men: Wow Wow Wow what a movie. More intense and bloody than I usually can stand, but the Coen brothers totally nailed it this time around. Just an incredible, existentialist story that asks more questions than it answers.
Juno: Absolutely adorable in so many ways ... but I don't think it has a chance. Diablo Cody's screen play is whip smart and so sardonically funny. Loved it.
There Will Be Blood: Still on the "to see" list
Michael Clayton: ditto

Best Actor:
Once again, without even trying, I've managed to miss every single best actor nominated film. Do only roles from grossly macho movies get nominated year after year?
Well, I do hope to catch There Will be Blood (Daniel Day Lewis) and Michael Clayton (George Clooney), at least. I'm pretty sure I won't see Sweeny Todd (Johnny Depp), In the Valley of Elah (Tommy Lee Jones) or Eastern Promises (Viggo Mortenson)

But just to prove that I'm not just a chick flick gal, I did take in the following Supporting Actor performances:
Casey Affleck in The Assassination of Jesse James ... Wow, Ben's little brother can act! Last time I saw him, he was much younger and sporting an afro in Chasing Amy This movie is bleak, but the performances are great, and it is an interesting commentary on the ways that celebrity affects people's legacy.
Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men: the City Pages reviewer had it right when he said you could feel the temp of the theater drop about 10 degrees every time this terrifying character came on screen. He was brilliant, but I think Tommy Lee Jones should also have been nominated for this film.

Now to the gorgeous women of the screen!
Best Actress:
Cate Blanchett kicked ass as Queen Elizabeth, but she's done this role before, so I don't feel she should get the award this time around. My favorite moments: when she screamed at the Spanish ambassador who threatened her, and when she grabbed onto her power when a sorcerer told her that in the face of fear, eagles spread their wings and fly into the gale and soar. Love Ms Blanchett, and this role!
Julie Christie turns in a beautiful and nuanced performance in Away From Her but the award should go to ...
Marion Cotillard in La Vie en Rose what an incredible movie and a gorgeous performance! Ms Cotilliard brought Piaf to life, and possessed that character (or was possessed by her?) in a way that just was spine tingling.
Ellen Page in Juno, so hilarious and dead pan. I wonder if her musings aren't quickly becoming part of adolescent girls' lexicon - 'cautionary whale' 'fo shizz.' If the Oscars were broken out into drama and comedy categories like the globes, Ms. Page would fo shizz be taking home a statue. But this will, I'm sure fall to a more dramatic performance. Oh p.s. - how genius was it to have Dwight Schrute play the convenience store clerk!?
Laura Linney in The Savages- I should try to see this one, too, to knock out this category. I'm sure Ms. Linney is amazing.

Best Supporting Actress
I've only managed to catch the wonderful Saoirse Ronan in Atonement She is a very gifted 12 year old.
Would love to catch the others in this category, but reality is setting in ... only 6 more movie seeing days before the big show!

I've got two out of three in the Animated Feature category ... Wonder how they judge these? story line? style? technical achievement? Both Ratatouille and Surf's Up are favorites around this house. I hope to see Persepolis, but it might be post awards.

Documentary
Love this genre, but I don't know ... I just haven't been in the mood to go to movies about the broken health care system, the War in Iraq and whatever depressing thing Taxi to the Dark Side is about. I'm having a shallow year, i guess.

heart on my sleeve

2008-02-04T22:17:00.000-08:00

I don't know how things are going to turn out, but I sure am impressed with the hope that Obama is inspiring in this nation of disillusioned folks

It's Tsunami Tuesday. Let's see what we can stir up, people!

Search: Lent Stole

2008-01-31T13:51:00.000-08:00

OK, here's what popped up on eBay when I searched for a purple stole:

I looked a little further and found this, a much more appropriate choice for Ash Wednesday and the Lenten season.

Who knew? eBay. A wonderful resource for liturgical vestments!

What I did on my Summer Vacation

2008-01-30T20:45:00.000-08:00

Since it's the coldest night of the year, let's think back to summer, shall we? Here I am with my friend Deb in her lovely backyard. It was 90-some degrees and very humid. Warms my -5 degree heart just thinking about it!

And here I am with my little guys, also in Deb & Scott's yard. What a lovely time we had!

AND ... now I have to eat some humble pie ... I FOUND our cameras! They were very well stashed in a box behind a box, but the lost have been found. Now, when I find my card reader, I'll post some more pics.

It is amazing, and more than a little daunting, how long it takes to establish order in a new place. Our house is lovely and large and has all kinds of storage, but we can't figure out where to put stuff so we can find it! I wish I had a REAL SIMPLE brain. Mine is REAL CONFUSING.

The Creator

2008-01-30T20:31:00.000-08:00

The creator goes off on one wild, specific tangent after another, or millions simultaneously, with an exuberance that would seem to be unwarranted, and with an abandoned energy sprung from an unfathomable font. What is going on here? The point of the dragonfly’s terrible lip, the giant water bug, birdsong, or the beautiful dazzle and flash of sunlighted minnows, is not that it all fits together like clockwork—for it doesn’t, particularly, not even inside the goldfish bowl—but that it all flows so freely wild, like the creek, that it all surges in such a free fringed tangle. Freedom is the world’s water and weather, the world’s nourishment freely given, its soil and sap: and the creator loves pizzazz.
- Annie Dillard

It's been many years since I've read any of Annie Dillard's gorgeous writing ... and this quote reminded me today of why I worshipped her so when I discovered her 20 years ago. Can't wait to read her new book.

Urgent Care = Purgatory

2008-01-14T16:37:00.000-08:00

Yuck. I spent FOUR hours at Urgent Care today. I tried to ensconce myself in a corner by myself away from the sniffly, hacking, miserable souls all around me. Played brick-breaker on my phone, texted people, tried to tune out the Tyra/Montel/Judge Whoever coming from the tube ... The most upsetting part of this waiting-room heck was this couple who would not unstrap their tired/hungry/bored toddler from his stroller. The kid begged, screamed, and tried valiantly to extricate himself from the straps, but his stupid parents just smiled benignly, and repeated his name "Devin" over and over. Then they mashed face with each other, while the rest of the room was going quietly insane. This went on for over an hour.
Little wonder when I went in for my initial consultation, my blood pressure was extremely elevated.
I had calmed down a bit by the time I actually saw the PA, but my BP was still high enough that I have to monitor it for a couple of months. Hmpf. Guess I'm getting old?
Turns out the reason I've hardly been able to move for the last few days, is I have a sinus infection. Easy enough to deal with, but I just wish I'd figured it out few days ago. I've been down for six days now (even missed my chance to preach on Sunday morning - Chris took one look at me and asked if I shouldn't go back home - I looked worse than I thought, I guess!) With antibiotics, I should bounce back soon. Looking forward to getting back to normal.

Catching up

2008-01-09T12:59:00.000-08:00

So, here are a few pictures from my cellphone, taken over the last couple of months, in chronological order:

Eric and I went to hear Ann Patchett read from her new novel "Run." Here she is, signing our copy. Ann was so engaging! She made some observations about grief that really rang true for both of us. "Grief is a debt. You can pay it now (when the death is fresh) or you can spend your whole life paying it back. But you must grieve." And she also spoke so passionately about friendship. For her, friendship is a vow. It is a commitment. Made me realize how lackluster my commitment is to my friends. I want to do better at staying connected. I've since finished "Run," a very good read, made even better because the snowiness in the book matched the snowiness of our MN December. The story isn't as compelling as "Bel Canto," but Ann Patchett's wonderful storytelling is a true pleasure.

Eric the birthday boy. His cake was decorated by the boys with corn candy and M&Ms

Micah the Ninja Turtle, in the Halloween parade at school!
When my digital camera reappears (she said hopefully), I'll post a picture of Luke as a muscle-bound Batman!

My brave boy. Micah had to get four teeth pulled! His baby teeth on the bottom were not coming out, and the permanent teeth were trying to come in. So Dr. Rachel said the babies had to come out! Micah got a new video game for his trouble, and the tooth fairy left 4 smackers under his pillow.

One last stop at Liberty Custard, before we left Minneapolis. Micah has grown too big for the red car - he's moved up to pinball, thank you very much.

In case you can't tell, that's Sara Groves playing at her CD release party. She is my new favorite singer. I love her message of faith and hope and justice. I took this pic for my friend Deb.

A Merry Christmas from our new house!

New Year New Look

2008-01-08T15:12:00.000-08:00

OK, I'm resolute. Not as resolute as my friend who wants to run a marathon. Or the one who has the goal of inventorying EVERYTHING in her possession for insurance purposes. My resolution only goes as far as getting back into blogging. I've missed it.

There are many reasons I quit for a while, all related to the huge pile-up-o-transitions that only intensified as we finally made our move. Another reason I took a break is the loss of our cameras in the process of moving. My goal was to post pictures from Halloween, our new house, etc, etc, and when the digital camera disappeared, I just got kind of stymied. I'm still stymied about the cameras. Maybe they're still in a box somewhere, but my hunch is they were stolen by our lovely moving men. Hopefully I will have to make a humble apology for that assumption.

But I'm not stymied about blogging. I'm back.

Chastened

2007-10-29T18:02:00.000-07:00

"I never travel on 35W, especially since the construction started"
"It's too hard to get from our exit over to the Crosstown through all the lanes"
"How can you stand that commute everyday?"

WIMPS, I SAY!

Then, BAM! Our brand new van's rearend got rearended. Hard. By a bigass Dodge Durango. Ouch. So tomorrow, Sienna goes to the van hospital for a few days. We get a free rental out of the deal, and my chiropractic and massage treatments are covered for the duration of the healing process. Fortunately the boys weren't with me ... the system works, and already my back is a lot better ... but dang. I didn't need this right now.

On a much larger scale, this theme of being chastened by the hard realities of life is playing out in the lives of my fellow pastor Rolf Olson and his family as they mourn the tragic death of their beautiful daughter Catherine. Catherine had answered a Crag's list ad for a Nanny job, went to the interview, and was brutally murdered by the 19 year old sicko who placed the ad. I cannot imagine the anguish this family is going through.

Some weeks ago, our neighbor, Mark Loesch was randomly murdered as he took a late night ride on his bicycle. There are no leads. Just a man beat to death for going out on his bike, and a family that is, I'm sure beaten down with grief.

How careful do we need to be? How full of evil is this world? Not that I in anyway compare my little fender bender with these tragedies, but, I just want to say, it is sick that we must not only drive defensively, but LIVE defensively. I didn't know Catherine at all, and I only knew Mark in a neighborly sort of way ... but their lives and their spirits that live on attest to the fact that they would rather we live DEFIANTLY in their honor. It is so tempting to become timid when you witness the random evil of this world ... Jesus advised us: 'Be as wise as serpants and as innocent as doves ...' that's as sound advice as one can ask for in days like these.

Say a prayer for the families of Catherine and Mark ... and be bold! Be strong! For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Neither Life Nor Death Shall Ever ...

2007-10-15T19:57:00.000-07:00

from the Lord his children sever. Don has gone home. He passed on Friday October 5. He hovered at that threshold for a couple of days, and all of his family members were able to come and spend some time with him. His funeral was beautiful... lots of folks from his parishes in Blooming Prairie and Farmington. It was a fitting tribute for a wonderful man.

At the family service the evening before his funeral, we gathered to sing and share memories; my favorite was singing the new (to me) hymn "You Are Mine" by David Haas. Tears washed my face as we sang,

I will come to you in the silence,
I will lift you from all your fear.
You will hear my voice, I claim you as my choice,
be still and know I am here.

I am hope for all who are hopeless,
I am eyes for all who long to see.
In the shadows of the night, I will be your light,
come and rest in me.

Do not be afraid I am with you,
I have called you each by name.
Come and follow me, I will bring you home;
I love you and you are mine.

I am strength for all the despairing,
healing for the ones who dwell in shame.
All the blind will see, the lame will all run free,
and all will know my name.

I am the Word that leads all to freedom.
I am the peace that world cannot give.
I will call your name, embracing all your pain,
Stand up, now walk, and live!

The funeral was a week ago, and we are slowly getting our feet under us again. There is such a surreal field of energy that fogs one in when grief sets in.

Eric and I took a 24 hour retreat last Friday/Saturday, stayed at a hotel, caught a movie, slept in, wandered the Minneapolis riverfront ... it was such a sweet break from the aforementioned fog ... made all the sweeter because we have a fresh perspective on how short and precious life is.

The boys are doing pretty well. Luke continues to process verbally ... Where is Grandpa? Why can't he shake my hand? (when we viewed him in his casket) Micah processes internally, so I'm never sure what his questions might be. We keep checking in ... letting him know we love him, offering safe space for conversation.

And, life just keeps moving along ...
It's MEA week, so we're juggling work and kid-care
We've got a "house cooling" Happy Hour at the Bungalow on Friday
WE'RE moving on November 10 (not quite in time for trick or treat in AV)
And the workloads for E and me didn't take a break for us last week!

On we go. I know Don is cheering all of his kids and grandkids on with a hearty "High-O!"

At the Threshold

2007-10-03T13:14:00.001-07:00

These thin places were threshold places --
a border or frontier place
where two worlds meet
and where one has the possibility of
communicating with the other."
-- Peter Gomes

Eric's father Don is at the threshold. A friend told me recently that our family is in an enviable position, because we are approaching that holy time, that sacred space that only appears at the beginnings and endings of life in this realm. It is true that in these thin places we can almost feel the brush of angel's wings. We know we are in the presence of the Holy one.

And yet, we also live with the dreadful knowledge that we will never hear Don's wonderful voice again.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not let them be afraid." ~Jesus

So Proud

2007-09-30T18:38:00.001-07:00

The other day Micah asked if he could have some paper. "Sure," I said, "What are you up to?"
"I feel like writing a story" said he.

And here it is for your enjoyment; (borrowing heavily from the Toy Story movies) A 2nd grade story, told in 2nd grade phonetics:

Escape from the garbeg can

andy was getin to old for his toys and thru them away. they had to escape the trash can. buz landed on plante z. som of andys old spase toys cam tored him. destry buz lityer they sed. buzz manegd too deafet them with his laser. befor zurg knew it buzz was fliing away. woody had landed in the desert bank. bank robers were getting away. just then jesee and bulsi landed on woodys head. hi gies woody said. those bank robers are getting away said jesse. lets get them. ya said woody. woody and jesee hopt on too bulsis bake. ride like the wind bulsi they shouted. bulsi ran after the bank robers. woody throd his rope. the bank robers were cohte. Rex had landed in a plase were andys old dinosaur toys. A big one came tard him and calengd Rex to dino fite. Rex jumpt the attack then Rex swipt his claw at some cocunut trees. the cocunuts fell onto the big dinos head. then Rex did a claw attack and ran away. meanwile mr. patatohead had landed in the brkeible secshon. hands came toard him. he jumt. he dogd craocht and jumpt attack andefeted enimes with a broken boxer glove that he fuond. he escapet and fuond mrs. patatohead and baby patatohead. the toys met up just in time to cach litil boe peep on buzs bake. they flew out but zurg blsted at them. buzz doged the boms. the toys lifted the lid and trou it at zurg and flew away to the nxt book. the end.

The Turning

2007-09-30T18:26:00.000-07:00

Well, it’s been a long three months. Since early July, we have had over 100 showings of our home. That’s a lot of cleaning and getting out of the way and wondering how long this is gonna go on. As the showings and interest started to slow down, and as the media keeps cranking out prophecies of economic gloom and doom, Eric and I were coming around to the idea that we may need to hunker down in Minneapolis until Spring and try again …

But then … came … a buyer! We accepted an offer on Thursday, and the same day went out with our realtor to look at homes in Apple Valley, because he was leaving town for 10 days, so we thought, why don’t we get one day of looking under our belts before he takes off?

So off we went, to look at some homes we’ve had our eye on for a few weeks, plus a couple of others that have come on the market. We looked at one of the new ones first. And, surprise! It was a beauty! So well maintained, had everything we were looking for … hmm. OK, let’s go and look at the others we like, and compare them. You know what? They didn’t compare! They didn’t have the nice sense of flow, the right kinds of spaces and yard for our family. So Joel, our realtor said, you want to go back and look at that one one more time? And we did. And it felt like home. And it was a great value. So we made an offer!

And here she is, our new home!

Our offer was accepted, with no counter offer. The current owners are members of my congregation, and when they saw who the buyers were, they chose not to counter! Talk about grace … We are so lucky. And we’ve learned that the neighbor across the street was on the call committee that interviewed and recommended me for ministry at SOTV! It is indeed a small world! We wanted to be ensconced in the community where I serve, and we will be! Micah and Luke will be trick-or-treating in our new neighborhood!

iPod jack: the New Cupholder

2007-08-17T22:23:00.000-07:00

I love our new van! It has that combination of new plastic, carpet, somethin' somethin' that makes it smell soooo good. And it has an iPod jack! Yahoo! And at least 3 "power ports" (nee cigarette lighters). And a "mommy mirror" above the rearview. And special compartments for garage door opener, sunglasses, coins, and I don't know what all. And, yes, at least 12 cup holders. Oh, and it drives like a dream ... plenty of get up and go, handles great, quiet. I'm already so spoiled. And I'm not the only one ... the other night, Luke and I were heading off in my old 98 Prizm, and he howled " Mo-om, I don't want to get in that dirty little car!"

I need to name her. Sienna is nice, but kind of generic. She's already been up to the North Shore, across the state of Wisconsin, Lake Michigan (in the Badger Carferry - she's not quite chitty chitty bang bang!), and the state of Michigan (twice a piece) AND down to eastern Ohio.

So, life is good in the new van. Lots more to report on, but this is it for tonight.

Buh-Bye!

Superb Minneapolis Bungalow! Cute! Cheap! Available!

2007-07-16T21:05:00.000-07:00

Click here to see the web ad

Do I sound desperate?
It just dawned on me over the weekend that we're getting to the point now that if we don't sell soon, we won't be in our new school district by September ... so we might need to get Micah and Luke enrolled in schools, not knowing yet if they will be our neighborhood schools ... and it's kind of freaking me out.

We're still having showings almost daily, but no offers.
... but our house is really clean, and looks cuter than we ever made it for our own dang selves!

So, hi everyone. It's been a wack-o six weeks. Are you ready for a super long post? Go get yourself a drink, find a comfortable spot. We could be here for a while.

1. The House
I'm really proud of the fact that we did manage to get the house ready to sell, but we sure couldn't have done it without a TON of help. Here's a sample (though not an all-inclusive list):
For our paint-a-thon weekend, Mim was the Queen of Kilz! She prepped any and all surfaces she came near. Julie and Kelsey were the Trim team - Julie even taught Luke how to paint a door. Kelsey got all the spindles in the staircase painted a fresh coat of shiny white. Next day, we had a fantastic team - Murray on prep and trim, Jen managed the team of small ones (ages 4-10!) painting the boys' bedroom, I did the bathroom, and Matt totally rocked the hall and stairway - floor to ceiling! Meanwhile, Mark was tearing the playhouse down, and Luke was having a meltdown! He (Luke) got past it amazingly fast, though.

I was inspired by all that help and did the kitchen over the course of a few late nights, the trim on the front of the house (3 colors, lots of masking tape, and a bit of panicking on the ladder!) the porch floor ... and I'm sure more that I can even recall right now.

THEN, we cleaned, and sorted and packed and cleaned --- and we're STILL NOT DONE! It is an unbelievably huge job. So more saintly friends came to help. Sandy did her magic on the hutch --- the girl knows how to make wood sing---AND she washed windows and packed stuff! Cathy helped pack up junk in the basement, and staged the bookshelves. Mark came back and then he came back again to do a zillion handy-man things, the biggest and ickiest of which was replacing the ceiling tiles in the basement. Mark is my house fixing hero!!! Mim came back and kilzed some more.

So now, we're spending a lot of time tidying up the house and leaving for showings ... the good thing about this is that it's forcing us to just go out as a family for an hour at a time: play at the park, have a picnic - very good things to do when we are so task oriented the rest of our waking lives.

2. The Car
A couple of weeks ago, we noticed that Eric's car was making funny sounds. I heard a clicking type of sound. Eric noticed a louder engine sound. Then the oil light came on. Then our wonderfully honest mechanic at Ellwood, our neighborhood shop looked at it and pronounced it "mostly dead." So... imagine this in your best game show announcer voice: Eric and Diane You're getting a NEW Minivan!!!!

Our new moving-to-the-suburbs 2007 Toyota Sienna.

We were kind of planning to upgrade sometime around the time we sold the house... but this has been kind of a crazy add-on to the rest of our craziness. When we actually get it, I'll tell you all about how great it smells and its other features. I fondly remember the days when the only feature I really cared about was a cup holder. I think this model has, like, a dozen.

3. Please say a prayer for ...
Eric's dad, Don. The last few weeks have been such a long haul for the Sponheim family. Don has been in and out of the hospital and a care center with multiple issues. His health picture has been complicated for a long time, and now, all of his conditions seem to be worsening. Yesterday, his focus of care was switched to hospice care. Eric and his siblings are all trying to help Bev care for Don during the nights, but it is getting too difficult for them all to manage. Please pray for wisdom and patience to prevail ... Thanks.

So. Life is hard and busy and complicated. But - God is good and merciful and kind.

Over and out for now. I hope to update again in less than six weeks!

Gone to Kansas City

2007-05-28T07:54:00.000-07:00

The last three weeks have been a marathon of house projects, packing, finding a nanny, and I don't know what else ...

I'm in Kansas City with my mom, taking a wee break from the above, and attending a cousin's (2nd cousin?) wedding. This branch of the family tree is so interesting! We all go back to my great grandparents on my mom's side. It's so amazing to look a perfect stranger in the face and see clearly that we are related, just by the shape of a nose, or a particular way of smiling. And what a marvel this Molton family is --- so literate and creative and brilliant, really. Patriarch Warren is a poet, minister, counselor (still practicing at 80!). Mom's cousin, Mary Dian (the matriarch) is equally impressive, also a practicing counselor, writer, and all-around delightful woman. You can imagine what their children grandchildren and great-grands are like! All of the children sang, played instruments and spoke eloquently at the reception. I hope this tenuous connection holds ... I'd like to see these folks again.

And now for something completely different ... the House Update!

The 'Done' List
- retaining wall -gone! beautiful grassy slope in its place
- old crumbling sidewalk - replaced
- floors refinished
- stucco refinished
- dining room, kids' room painted
- chandelier replaced
- 13 totes of kids' clothes organized
- yard sale done - tons of stuff carted away.
- many cabinets, drawers, closets purged & organized

The 'To Do' list
- lots more purging to do
- paint: kitchen, bath, hall & stairs, kids' other room, outside trim
- demo the old play house (Micah already kicked a wall out! Way to get us started, buddy!)
- hang new blinds and valances
- spruce up the landscaping

There's more, but for now, that's all I can handle thinking about. This is a very day-to-day, babysteps sort of process. We're having a project day on Saturday ... anyone who wants to show up and help out is welcome! Free lunch, dinner and drinks provided all day long!

The goal is to get on the market by June 15 or so. We went with our fantastic realtor (Joel Mugge, Coldwell Banker Burnet) to look at homes last week. We were flabbergasted at what's available in our price range! Even as we mourn the move away from our sweet city neighborhood, we look forward to an amazing, unimagined (before all this fell into place) future.

One more day here in KC with extended family, then it's back home to my very own family tomorrow, one more full day of house stuff, then on Thursday, my first day at Shepherd of the Valley! But I'm getting ahead of myself ... one step at a time baby, one step at a time.

... Still Soaking!

2007-05-06T21:12:00.000-07:00

And I'm pretty sure we're past the soft hands stage. We've moved right past wrinkly fingers to mush.

Yesterday I went to Westwood to pack up my office. I predicted 2-3 hours for this job. Hah! I was so wrong! I'm pretty sure I disposed of at least a small forest as I made trip after trip to the recycling dumpster. In fact on the last one, well after dark, I headed out the back door, and there, hopping out of the dumpster, was the biggest racoon I ever saw ... with her family of kits peeking out over the edge! Ay yay yay! I ran back in and slammed the door hard, leaving that last load for my friend Brian on the morning custodial shift.

Working in this office for the last six years, I'd forgotten how many stories and memories were tucked away in my files, bookshelves and drawers. Now I realize that all along, I was surrounded by them, and pulling them out felt sort of like pulling out a prayer shawl and wrapping it around myself. For all the stresses that come along with the work of pastor-ing, the deep connections with people, the opportunity to be a vessel for God's love ... it is so humbling, and it is such an amazing vocation. Aw geez. Now I'm crying again ...

For most of the hours I was packing, I had my iPod on shuffle. What a fantastic invention!!! Even after using this thing for over a year, I'm thrilled with the ability to pick any one of a thousand songs at the press of a button. So, I heard from all my girls: Shawn Colvin, Patti Griffin, Annie Lennox, Sam Phillips, Aimee Mann, the Indigos, Nelly Fertado, Corrine Bailey Rae, Ella Fitzgerald, Sheryl Crow, Nanci Griffith, Natalie Merchant, Suzanne Vega and on and on ... plus a few boys - John Hiatt, U2, Bruce Cockburn, Mark Knopfler, Van Morrison, Louis Armstrong and on and on again ... Surprisingly, today, the one song I can't shake from those many hours of listening? "Goin' to Carolina in My Mind" by James Taylor. It's the little tag at the end I can't get out of my head:
I'm gone ... say nice things about me ... I'm gone ... carry on without me ...

Tonight the congregation celebrated with us at a potluck (of course!) and I'm still floating from all of the sweet words of affirmation that were spoken, written in zillions of cards, and whispered into my ears as we hugged.

What a gift the church is. What a gift this church has been.

Thanks be to God.

You're Soaking in It!

2007-04-23T19:57:00.000-07:00

OK, this is totally going to date me, but, remember Madge, the manicurist from the Palmolive dish washing liquid commercials? ("It softens hands while you do the dishes!") She would give her unsuspecting customers the spiel about how this stuff was magic --- and then reveal: "You're soaking in it!"

These days, I feel like I'm soaking in it. Not Palmolive --- just life. It's crazy right now. And in times when my emotions are all over the map and just rich, for some reason, I think of that phrase: You're soaking in it!

I've taken a new call! Phew! I can finally say it now in this public spot. The 2.5 people who read this blog already know this, of course, but for ethical, professional reasons, I haven't been able to blog about this huge thing that's been going on in my life for the last several months. Hence the relative quietude.

In fact, as things heat up around here, I may be turning to this space more and more just to process stuff.

I am in the midst of saying good-byes and winding down at Westwood, a place that has been a great church home for our family for almost six years. The career part of it has been mixed - lots of transitions, and interesting staff stuff - but overall, good. It's the dear dear people and the gorgeous worship and beautiful architecture that I will miss so very much. The refrain I hear is: "We are sad for us, but happy for you and your family." I, too, am sad to leave Westwood, and I will miss this community a lot.

My new call is at Shepherd of the Valley, Apple Valley, and I am so thrilled. The pastors, staff and call committee have been phenominally welcoming, and the call process itself was just a wonder. By the final interview, I swear, there was some kind of Holy Ghost power electrifying the air in that meeting room. By the time I left there, I was certain that no matter what the call committee decided, it would be God's will, and I was happy with that. The amazing thing is, they called me before I even got home to offer me the opportunity to have my name recommended to the church council! The chairman had his phone on speaker, and when I replied "absolutely" to this opportunity, the committee erupted in cheers! So affirming, and entirely cool. I start there May 31.

And between now and then, we are getting our lovely Kingfield Bungalow ready to sell. If it weren't so clear on so many levels that this move to Apple Valley is meant to be, we would be having a lot harder time with all of these changes. We love the city. We've been very committed to having Micah enrolled at Windom. The Spanish Immersion program there has been so great for him, and it looks like we won't find that in AV, sadly. But! We are totally riding the positives of the Apple Valley move: closer to Eric's work, closer to his folks, great schools, the opportunity for us to live and work and school and worship all in the same community ...

But to get there, we will be selling our house, buying a new one, finding a nanny, adjusting to a new community ... even though it's only 30 minutes away, everything will be new, so it might as well be cross country in some respects.

Don't know how much I'll bore you 2 or 3 with the details of the house processes, but I do know entire blogs have been dedicated to this. We will be having >$15K worth of work done on the outside of the house. And we're flying brother Jon out for 6 days of painting and fixing stuff. Can't wait to see how it all turns out ... and I know the improvements are only going to make us love this place more. Sniff.

But - a whole brand new house? And job? And everything? Just amazing to consider.

We're soaking in it.

Holy Week

2007-04-10T19:30:00.000-07:00

It's the Tuesday after Easter, and I'm coming down with a cold, kind of like I always did after finals in college. 'Twas a wonderful week, though ...

On Palm Sunday, Micah got to march and wave palms at two services, not just one --- which, silly me, I thought he would love. Sometimes I forget that my eldest son is an extreme introvert with very distinct ideas about what is fun. The only way he got through the second go-round of palm waving was by looking forward to playing "Sponge Bob" on the computer in Mom's office afterwards. I am not above bribery. Plus, he'd already sung and sat very well through the earlier worship service.

During that first service on Palm Sunday, after the children had sung and paraded, I was at the lectern, reading the New Testament lesson from Philippians. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Micah sauntering towards me down the center aisle. As I continued to read, trying to act oblivious, he marched right up to the lectern and stood next to me. "Mom!" he whispered urgently as I read. "MOM!" (still whispering) ... fortunately by this time I was finished, and we were all responding "Thanks be to God." It's the first time in a while that either of the boys have charged the stage while I've been leading worship.

Maundy Thursday is one of my favorite services of the year. We didn't do the laying-on-of-hands absolution this year, though, which is something I always treasure receiving and giving. However, Jason led us through a ritual hand washing, which was very meaningful. Almost everyone present participated. Three pairs of people stood at stations with warm water scented with a bit of fragrant oil; as you approached, they reached for your hands, and washed them while reciting Jesus' command to 'love one another as I have loved you.' As an observer at the front of the sanctuary, it was so moving to see nearly everyone present submit to this ritual, and to see the smiles on their faces as they were cared for.

The stripping of the altar at the end of the service was accompanied by the reading of Psalm 88 by Brian Skellenger, a noted young actor in the Twin Cities. As he read, two families with young children carefully removed all of the paraments, and laid them on the pastors' outstretched arms. The children worked with such dignity and obvious pride. Finally they approached us and beckoned us to lean forward so they could remove our stoles. It was humbling and beautiful to have children perform this part of the service. Jason, Tania and I walked down the long center aisle in silence, bearing the liturgical garments.

On Good Friday, I preached at the noon service, which is one of the oddest times to preach, ever. See, the service follows right after a lovely meal we have for our seniors and home-bound folks, so they are all very full, and probably sleepy. Then, in our sanctuary it is REALLY bright; then, you have to remember that many of these folks won't be able to make it back for the Easter service, so you don't want to leave them with too much of a sock-in-the-gut Good Friday sermon ... Vewy, vewy weird. But it went OK, I guess.

For the evening, I wrote a service called "Sounds of Darkness" in which we broke up the passion story from the Gospel of John (apologies to the purists who think this is a bad idea). For each piece of the story, there was an accompanying sound effect, then silence, then a response. The responses included a couple of meditations, a drama, an anthem, and a few hymns. I found sound effects on the Internet, and we augmented some of them with live sounds. Overall it worked well.

For the first sound (after the description of the soldiers approaching to arrest Jesus), I found a recording of a military drill, where you could hear soldiers' marching feet, clanking of weapons, and a drill sergeant's voice barking out unintelligible orders. In my one-to-two minute meditation, I said that no weapon or army was as strong as God's love that came to us through Jesus' humbling of himself to death, and that in fact, God meets us right in the middle of that dark human impulse toward violence when he goes to the cross through Jesus. I then mentioned the 3,266 soldiers (as of that day) and tens of thousands of Iraqis who had died in the current war, because it is the military conflict most immediate in our consciousness these days. A gentleman who heard this responded with a letter stating that it was parochial of me to only mention the suffering related to the Iraq war, and not the suffering of millions of others in Sudan, Uganda, North Korea and elsewhere. I'm really not sure what his actual beef was, he also seemed to be critiquing my lack of background on the previous centuries of military rule in the ancient world. I need to contact him, but in the meantime, let me just say, when it comes to mentioning social issues in the pulpit, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

A few weeks ago, I preached on the Sunday closest to the 4th anniversary of the Iraq war. None of the pastors mentioned the war in preaching, prayers or announcements. We were soundly scolded for this neglect by a couple of parishioners. I guess I felt the weight of their criticism, and maybe I hoped to somehow right that ommission by mentioning the war in the context of Good Friday. And yet, at the same time, I don't think my mention of the way God meets us---even seeks us out---in the darkest places humans can create for themselves was an innappropriate thing to bring up on Good Friday, was it???

So. Then came Easter. Just glorious! At the largest service, we had over 900 folks there singing out their Alleluias! The moment I sat and just listened to that throng of voices is one I hope I never forget. Other high points of Easter: the installation of a beautiful liturgical art work, a canopy of Spring-colored cloths extending the length of the santuary, and all pointing to the large cross at the front. (I'll insert a picture soon.) and hundreds of flowering plants, and my own dear family in the second row, and four couples I've married in the last year or so showing up for the first time since their weddings ... a bright and lovely day.

After putting up my feet for a while in the afternoon, we gathered with the Sponheims at Don & Bev's. Good food and good company. I love when the cousins can spend some time together. Micah and Luke only have two, so we treasure them. Easter egg hunts, baskets, the requisite squabble over who got more or better goodies ... it's all part of the deal. And it is good.

The End of Winter

2007-04-01T14:05:00.000-07:00

You can't really tell in this picture, that looks so barren, that life is bursting out everywhere. The bare branches are filled with birds, heralding the arrival of warmer weather. The lake is melting, turning bluer every moment, and scores of geese fly overhead, honking their way to the nearby lake that is already open. One morning, fog rose off the lake in a white, mystical layer, with the blue sky peeking through, and another layer of white, then blue ... captivating.

Green Lake, Spicer, MN; March 24, 2007

Underneath the frozen waves heaved up on the shore, you could hear water trickling, and once in a while a *pop* as ice cracked and gave way.

I spent last weekend with 70 women (every shape and size and color and age - 19 -80!) at our church's women's retreat. The wondrous Cathy Malotky was our speaker, and she led us in celebrating the fact that God had created us, with all of our lumps and bumps and so-called imperfections ... we prayed and laughed and worshiped and danced and drummed! It was soul-enriching, and exhausting and very very good.

Leading campfire with my buddy Kim

"For each child that's born, a morning star rises

and sings to the universe who we are"

Our elders blessed us

Happy Birthday to Me!

2007-03-10T20:47:00.000-08:00

...belated, of course!

Here I am, getting birthday kisses from two of my favorite guys.

It's sad (but not uncommon among busy families, I guess) that there are no pictures of Eric and me together. In case you wondered, we are still married!

My mom gave me a digital camera for my bday, so I'll be uploading more photos now. Yippee!

My birthday featured the first of two back-to-back winter storms, so Eric's and my plans to go out to Brix were scotched. We did, however, head over to Westwood, for a Kids Against Hunger meal packing event. Our line featured Mim & Linden, Annette, Elsa & Kjell, Sandy Lepp, Micah and me. All told, the event yielded 116,000 meals for our friends in Tanzania. So Cool! The reality is, it only makes a small dent in the needs there, but it is good for us to keep making dents.

In the middle of our meal packing shift, the organizers approached me with a megaphone and invited me to speak a bit about Kids Against Hunger, and say a prayer (designated pastor, don'tcha know!?) I've never prayed into a megaphone before. After my little spiel, a couple of the organizers surprised me with a cake!

So, yeah. I'm getting, um, mature. And that's a good thing, right?

Snow

2007-03-02T17:48:00.000-08:00

What climate crisis?
Folks, we have been dumped on! This pile of snow is now partially melted, but it was about 6 feet tall.

Snow Cave

Just about to go down the hill!

And now ... this week's Lukisms:

"Why did Micah blow up?" (After Micah had a bout with vomiting)

Looking at the carmel-y colored snow we were shoveling... Lukie: "That looks like Micah's head!" Me, after a few seconds to think about it:"Because its sort of yellowish like his hair?" Luke:"Yeah"
Spying a picture of Rickie Lee Jones on a web site I was reading ..."Hey Mom! That's you on the computer"

Ash Wednesday

2007-02-21T21:29:00.000-08:00

A few moments I want to remember ...
- standing in the sacristy, wondering where these black, black ashes come from? They look nothing like the gray ones we made from burnt palm leaves. I also recalled the white ashes that were the remains of my father.
- creating a slurry of olive oil and black ash to smear on the foreheads of the faithful
- at noon today, following worship, a roomful of older folks, chatting and laughing over bowls of warm soup, while the ashen crosses on their heads danced in the sun ... a sort of Pentecost. Take that, death and grave!
- Walking through Lunds this afternoon, black cross on my head, black coat, clerical, pants and shoes ... People were quite wary of me. Looked the other direction when they saw my ashes and gave me a wide berth if we happened to be walking toward each other. I felt like such a bad-ass!
- this evening, drawing crosses on white porcelain skin and old leathery skin; on the brow of a woman whose young husband had now become ashes himself; and on the forehead of a redheaded teenager who when I said "Remember you are dust, and to dust you shall return," leveled his gaze at me and said, "Is that in the Bible?"
- at the end of a long day, stopping at Burger King for one of my favorite indulgences: a frozen Coke. African American BK employee leans her generous self out the window towards me: "What's up with the black cross on yo' head?"
"Um, it's Ash Wednesday, in the church" ... I begin, thinking, "how do I abridge all the meanings of this day?" but it's enough. "Oh, all right" she says, and the window folds shut.

It is enough ... to know that we were created from the dust, and that when we return to dust, and all of the moments in between, our God is with us.

Oscars, Schmoscars

2007-02-13T14:03:00.000-08:00

So, I've had this tradition for many years to try to see every Oscar nominated best picture, and all the flicks with actor/actress nominations AND foreign films and documentaries.

15 years ago, I could actually pull this off. Now? I'm lucky to catch a few. And, these days, I'm much more picky about what I will let into my life, in terms of violence, gratuitous sex, etc... So! My Oscar Quest goal has narrowed considerably.

Here's what I've seen, and my thoughts on award-worthiness, for what it's worth:

1. Best Picture

Little Miss Sunshine ~ I LOVE this movie! It is so quirky and endearing; and even though there are a few crude things, the overall message is one of such sweetness ... even hugely dysfunctional families can be full of huge love.
The Queen ~ E and I have been trying to see this for months! Hopefully we'll get it in before the big night.
Babel, The Departed, Letters From Iwo Jima ~ Sorry. Can't do these. Too bloody intense(abbreviated as 2bi in the following entries).

2. Best Actor - can't comment yet - most of these are WAY 2bi for me

3. Best Actress

Penelope Cruz in Volver ~ She absolutely glows in these Pedro Almadovar films. And what a fun picture! Chicks rule! I would love for her to win this one.
Dame Judy Dench in Notes on a Scandal ~ turns in another fabulous performance. By the end you hate and pity her in equal measure.
Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada ~ She looks amazing, and, of course, kills in every scene she's in, but this was a cake-walk for Meryl. Let somebody else have a chance this year.
Helen Mirren in The Queen ~ see #1.
Kate Winslet in Little Children ... I'm sure she's also wonderful - I'd love to see this film as well, but will probably end up waiting for the dvd.

4. Best Supporting roles:

Alan Arkin and Abigail Breslin in Little Miss Sunshine ~ How cool would it be for little Miss Abigail to walk away with this one? She is just a treat. Arkin was hilarious, but not outstanding. It seems odd to me that Toni Colette (whom I adore) was not also nominated in this category for this film
Eddie Murphy and Jennifer Hudson in Dreamgirls ~ Loved this movie/musical, and I truly believe they deserved their Golden Globes in the category of musical --- but I don't know if these performances stand up next to the other nominations.

5. Best Foreign Film:

Water ~ was gorgeous, but soooo sad. Forgive me for making a gross generalization, but it seems that almost every film or book I've encountered that takes place in India is just ... tragic.
Pan's Labyrinth ~ Had the opportunity to see this one, but backed out because of its surreal nature. That stuff just gets into my psyche and doesn't leave me alone.
Don't know if I'll see any of the others ...

6. Best Documentary

I predict Al Gore will win this one, but that some sort of election fraud will occur ... I'm interested in seeing Jesus Camp but haven't gotten around to it yet.

Not Oscar-nominated, but worthy films in my book:

Cars ~ We've been living and breathing this movie for months (since all the tie-in merchandise made great potty-training prizes!) and I'm still not tired of it. I just love the characters. Mater cracks me up every time. Guess I'm just a good ol' girl at heart!

Charlotte's Web ~ Absolutely does justice to the book. I'm so thankful for films like this to offset the sarcasm and silliness of Spongebob, Scooby-Doo, et al.

The Holiday ~ Once in a while, E and I like to indulge in a romantic comedy, and this one is an especially good example of the genre. I love me some Jack Black, and thought it was so cool that he was cast in a quasi-romantic role. Kate Winslet is also just a wonder to behold.

Prairie Home Companion ~ Fun to see all of our Midwestern caricatures up there on the big screen, but a little bit disappointing, too. Kind of like seeing a movie of a favorite book, and not having it fit the pictures that were in your head.

Well, that about wraps up my humble opinions ... Can't wait to watch the red carpet and revel in the excitement of it all!

Greetings from the Infirmary

2007-01-27T10:34:00.000-08:00

Now that the pneumonia is resolved, Luke is the healthiest of us all. The rest of us have this incredibly stubborn cold that is finally abating. In other health news, I had dental work done yesterday on a bridge (that earlier required a surprise root canal!) and my copay is now up to $1600 ... This is the bridge that I got when I was 14. (I'll spare you the long, gory story) It has served me well for 30 years, so I guess replacing it shouldn't be too much of a surprise. But, dang!

I'm the Only One

2007-01-17T19:43:00.000-08:00

Today is Luke's birthday. He is four now. Oh my goodness, the baby years are slipping away so quickly ...

Luke has a habit of jumping around like Tigger, even if he's not excited about anything in particular. And sometimes he sings the Tigger song in his best Tigger-ish voice.

The wonderful thing about Tiggers is Tiggers are wonderful things!

Their tops are made out of bubbah! (sic)

Their bottoms are made out of strings! (sic)

insert a bunch of gibberish .... then triumphantly:

I'm the only one!

Fittingly today, Luke dispensed with the whole thing except for "I'm the only one!" as he hopped around anticipating cake and presents. I love Luke's hop. I love Luke's beamish outlook on the world. Happy birthday, son. You are the only Luke. You are a gift.

Rude Awakening

2007-01-14T14:04:00.000-08:00

I awoke later than the usual 6 bells this Sunday morning. My duties were light at church (only an interview at the 6th grade Sunday School on what it's like to be a Pastor) -- so I slept in a bit. The first sign that something was awry this day was the sound of what I call Micah's "wheedling" --- a sound somewhere between a whine and a cry that is totally forced, and completely aimed at annoying the person who is denying him his current wish. The situation was dealt with, and then along came Luke.

His cheeks were completely flushed, and his hand was over his left ear. I swept his hot hot body up into my arms and carried him to the bathroom for a dose of Motrin, promising that Daddy would take him to the doctor, and I would check on him as soon as I returned from church.

Having given all the necessary instructions and insurance cards to Eric, I flew out the door, now running late. As I walked up to the garage, the side door was open ... and the car door was hanging open. "Did I forget to close that after I unloaded groceries last night?" I wondered. Then a split second later realized what had happened. The console was all busted up, the ashtray on the passenger seat, and the cup holder in pieces on the floor. The front panel of the stereo was gone.

Ran back to the house, gave Eric the bad news, and then ran off. Nothing like leaving a mess in your spouse's lap. I felt terrible; couldn't concentrate ... At the 6th grade class, I shot off my answers with rapid-fire delivery, and one of the girls' only "question" was, "Wow, you talk fast." So I tried then to slow down and be in the moment, rather than worrying about Eric and the boys. But my head and my gut were in a twisted mess.

Worship was a gift. At the 11:10 contemporary worship, an African American family had come, and their participation in the music, their total, visible engagement in the service reminded me of why we were all there. Songs that might other times get on my nerves, "Yielding," "The Sweet Sweet Presence of Jesus" suddenly spoke to my spirit and soothed me. Pastor Kelly Chatman preached on the wedding at Cana. Jesus invites everyone to the party, and he makes gallons upon gallons of wine because he wants everyone of us to get our groove on! What a playful, refreshing take on that story.

The news from the doc is that Lukie has pneumonia. I always feel a twinge of guilt at a diagnosis like this, like, how did this get past me??? He honestly has been his cheery sociable self, except for a nagging cough for a couple of weeks. We spent a lot of time on the couch today, read lots of stories, ... the Zithromax is kicking in, and he'll be fine in a few days, hopefully in time for his fourth birthday on Wednesday.

So, life goes on ... I must admit that instead of the violation I expected to feel in the face of the break in this morning, I feel a bit smug. Ha ha, no stereo for you, thug! And honestly? I'm glad the doors weren't locked, because this single-minded thief would have smashed them to get what he wanted. The police confirmed that. If we want to keep thieves out of the garage, we need to install a steel door with a huge bolt (or three). At the moment, it hardly seems worth it. None of our garage stuff -- hard-earned as it is, seems that important to protect to that degree. Now on our house ... with precious lives enclosed, that's another story.

And at the end of this weird day, I still feel incredibly blessed.
And don't you love the sound
Of the last laugh going down?
- Mark Knopfler

Lutherans and Biblical Hermanuetic

2007-01-13T20:37:00.000-08:00

I reluctantly left the Saturday morning nest today to be present at a Minneapolis Area Synod Council meeting. Expectations were low as I settled into the Fireside Room at Woodlake Lutheran Church, but I was given a couple of gifts today.

First of all, my very own copy of Evangelical Lutheran Worship inscribed to me by Bishop Craig Johnson himself. Very cool.

Secondly, a very stimulating talk by Dr. David Lose, professor of Homiletics and Academic Dean at Luther Sem. In one and a half hours, David whirlwinded through a history of Biblical interpretation, leavening it with humor and brilliant insights. At points, Dr. Lose's eyes glistened with emotion as he witnessed to his understanding of the scriptures. I can't possibly capsulize all that he said here, but a couple of points that rung especially true:

The most offensive thing Jesus did was to forgive sin. We would rather die than admit our need for forgiveness ... God will not accept that. Jesus conquers death, and comes back with the very same message: "Peace be with you," (i.e. I forgive you)
The church is about telling the truth twice: The first truth is the condition of the world: I know you. The second truth is simply, I love you.

Lose goes on: "We most deeply want a relationship in which we are deeply known, BUT we all deeply fear being deeply known. Yet we can't be loved fully without being known fully. To be truly known is to be vulnerable to the point of death." Dying to self, Dying to pride, dying to the lies I tell myself and you about who I am. And then real love can breathe life into this dead soul.

Good stuff. The room felt electric after Dr. Lose spoke. Our intellects and hearts were completely engaged and spoken to.

Snuggling In

2007-01-12T23:02:00.000-08:00

Well, here is is, the first really cold day of this Minnesota winter. What better time to batten down the hatches, snuggle in with my laptop and start a blog?

Actually, I've resisted the urge to do this for a long time. It's always seemed a bit narcissistic to me. But a few friends have pioneered this strange land before me, and have inspired me. So -- for whatever reason, I'm feeling the need to express myself, so here goes!

Today was a wonderfully domestic kind of day. I love an at-home day to catch up on the dishes and laundry ... putter around and drink hot beverages ... set up the hundredth configuration of the Island of Sodor for Luke's train fantasy ... write overdue thank you notes.

The only time we ventured out into the 4 degree weather was when Luke and I headed over to Micah's school for our Friday ritual ... hanging out in the lunchroom with about 100 totally wired Kindergartners and 1st graders. Luke, for some reason, loves this. He looks forward to it all week. Not that you'd know it when we are there. He clings to my legs while I walk around and assist children with milk cartons, orange peels and all manner of ecologically unsound packaging. Must be the energy of all those lovely, diverse children. Or the free chocolate milk.

When Micah got home from school, we three went immediately to the basement, where we slid in the Mary Poppins DVD, got under a blanket,and munched popcorn. I love this about the bleak midwinter. It is perfectly OK to hibernate and waste a couple of hours cuddled up on the couch. "Savor it," my friend Penne, a mom of teenagers advised me. Excellent advice.

I must mention here that not only am I new to blogging, I'm also new to the wonder that is Netflix. How amazing is it that you can queue up hundreds of movies that you want to see, type in a password, and for a nominal fee, ta-da! DVDs come to your door! I never have to go to the skanky video store again! I can do all my decision making (that always took forever at the video store) in the comfort of my own home. Granted, I have to wait one day for the DVD to arrive ... but for a movie loving, nay, movie-starved gal like me, this is a dream come true. So Mary Poppins goes back tomorrow, and up next in two days: The Devil Wears Prada. I love it.

So ... no deep theological insights. No psyche-probing meanderings. I'll save those for another day. I'm just getting my feet wet. Stay toasty.